Don’t worry friends, I’m not talking about some goofy new viral dance move.
Instead “The Taxi Dance” is what I have nicknamed the uniquely crazy process of acquiring a taxi and bartering for a price in Kathmandu.
Why do I call it a dance?
The particular steps and moves that are purposefully (and sometimes dramatically) carried out between two people. A performance of contrasting moods and rhythmic banter. An ever-changing variety of expressions.
Sounds like every taxi ride you’ve ever taken, right?!?!?!
Oh yeah, that’s right, I was just starting to remember that back home, getting a taxi does not depend on:
—–His mood
—–My mood
—–If the driver is parked outside a hotel or tourist trap and is expecting more because he assumes I am just a visitor and will not know how to barter
—-How long he can be pulled over without all the other vehicles honking angrily at him
—-How much energy I have/how much I currently care about paying more than locals
Let me give you a little example of what an average Nepali Taxi Dance looks and sounds like to further illustrate…..
*walks up to Taxi*
Namaste! You know __(insert location)_______??
—Okay, yes.
How much??
*nervous pause, maybe looks around debating how much he can possibly get out of me* Six hundred!
*Feigns horror* NO no no, WAY too much!! Three hundred is good price!
–Five hundred, m’am, five hundred! *Has annoyed look on his face because his hopes that I am a clueless foreigner who will not question him have been dashed*
No,
*insert tactic here:
~~~Traffic is not bad right now!
~~~So close!!
~~~I can get to (X location twice as far) for that price!!
and my personal favorite,
~~~Okay, maybe I will walk and find another taxi!!
—-Three fifty! * affirmative head wobble*
At this point I either concede and the dance is over or I walk. Most of the time, I end up conceding once I’ve danced the price down to slightly above what I initially pitched. It’s still definitely not the local price, because there is a “foreigner price” for everything here.
Okay, Tiksa (Nepali for Okay or fine), three fifty!
I hop in the backseat of the taxi and my facial expression immediately changes from stern and frustrated to relaxed and content, as if in no way did we just spend the past few minutes aggressively haggling and probably irritating each other.
The Taxi Dance is just one of the many things, some serious and some not-so-serious, that I’ve learned during my 7 weeks so far in Kathmandu.
If only it was a line I could add to my future resumé!! Could you imagine??
Other skills: Can barter for a taxi in foreign countries LIKE A PRO.
A girl can dream, guys.
More later from KTM!
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